‘Rage is like a car which is made of many parts; if you disassemble it, it cannot run’ The Venerable Dhammasami (Dphil Oxford) Abingdon Road Vihara, Oxford

 

We tend to think of rage as one emotion but actually it runs on a combination of underlying emotions and beliefs.  For example I worked recently with a client who presented with anger management problems but underneath this was the excavation of the following components: low mood, hopelessness, sorrow, disappointment, panic, fear and guilt.  One of the strongest drivers for this was the belief that without appreciation from others he was worthless; it was also far less painful to make the other person wrong and feel superior, than to face up to his conditional requirements for self-worth.  This was highly alienating for him and made his relationships vulnerable to failure. 

With time he was able to see that he had the resources within himself to dissolve anger and look to his own strengths to develop resilience and nurture well-being*

*All identifying information was removed to protect client confidentiality and permission was given to post this blog